Two Years Ago, I Deleted All My Social Media Accounts

What a hell of a year it’s been. A global pandemic, an economic crash, and two polarizing seasons of political demonstrations, with both left and right taking their turn.

Although honestly, without social media, these things weren’t that big a deal. They are objectively a big deal, of course, but living without social media (and intentionally avoiding news outlets) makes me one of the last people to hear the news. When I do, it comes in the form of an outraged anecdote from a friend, to which I usually reply “Oh wonderful, another fucked up thing happened.”

My first year without social media was spent mostly enjoying all the positive things that came without having social media. I reclaimed multiple hours every day for my own use, I was no longer wasting time upsetting myself by comparing myself to others, and my relationships rose in quality as I focused on those few relationships in my life that truly matter.

Those positive changes set me up to weather the coming storms with more grace than would have been possible with social media. Having no social media saved me from fake news and scaremongering, it saved me from incendiary political rhetoric, and it allowed me to focus on maintaining my relationships with the most meaningful kind of contact possible instead of defaulting to panicked social media updates.

In sum, having no social media during 2020 was great.

Why Having No Social Media Was Great During 2020

Coronavirus was easier to deal with

Remember early on in the pandemic when people were first starting to say nonsense things like “the virus is a hoax” and “it’s a violation of civil rights to force people to wear masks?”

Well, I don’t. I didn’t have any social media, so all I learned about Coronavirus I learned from newspapers and Medium’s Coronavirus blog — and the picture these sources painted was an apolitical one. There is a novel coronavirus spreading across the world, and we need to wear masks and social distance or people will die. Seemed bipartisan to me. It was months before I learned that people interpreted apolitical statements like “Wear a mask to prevent the spread” as a violation of their rights.

It was also months before I learned anyone expected certainty. When Medium updated Coronavirus information on their blog, I wasn’t shocked. COVID-19 is a novel virus, after all, so I fully expected scientists to be continually learning more and updating their recommendations. I didn’t know this natural process of learning was setting firestorms of Twitter rage until someone I know who uses Twitter “helpfully” let me know.

I’m thankful I didn’t have social media because it would have done nothing but upset me to be confronted regularly with people who think the virus is a hoax or that masks don’t work. We only have a limited amount of time on this earth, and we can’t waste any of it getting sucked into pointless drama.

The election cycle sucked way less

I’ve already written about what the election cycle was like without social media in great detail, but they include:

1. Not having social media allowed me to stay free of preconceived notions. Instead of getting sucked into this conspiracy theory or that charged narrative, I was able to just look the facts up online and draw my own conclusions. Not having social media was like having a built-in defense against rhetoric and algorithm-driven radicalization. This came in very handy during the debates, when my lack of preconceived notions allowed me to let the candidates speak for themselves.
2. My lack of social media, paradoxically, made me more educated about the issues. Since I didn’t have “friends” to “helpfully” explain issues to me, I was forced to do independent research to understand political topics, which often left me more educated than the people who notified me such things were happening.
3. Not having social media gave me a healthy dose of perspective around scandal. When the late-election-cycle scandals suddenly started breaking, as they always do, I wasn’t fazed because I didn’t experience agitated people on social media posting about them 24/7. I was able to keep my mind on the issues.

The shutdown was easier to survive

It was far easier to forgive myself for not exercising at home, being productive, or getting my life together when fitness and inspiration porn weren’t being piped into my brain seven hours a day. The only standards that mattered were the ones I set for myself.

I ended up being quite productive and healthy during the shutdown, and I know that was only possible because I wasn’t allowing anything distracting or demoralizing into my emotional awareness.

Doomscrolling did not bring me down

Doomscrolling? Who is she? I certainly don’t know, because I haven’t been doing it. I’m only aware “doomscrolling” is a thing because a handful of people have written about it on Medium.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how a life without doomscrolling is a better one. My worldview isn’t being constantly poisoned by negativity created by an exposure bias, allowing me to keep my head up and keep moving forward.

Why Having No Social Media is Great Every Year

It creates so much time

This is my favorite boon of not having social media and is the reason I continue not having social media: it takes up so much freaking time.

Briefly, during 2020, I toyed with the idea of maintaining a TikTok. I downloaded the app, made an account, drove somewhere scenic so I had a good set, and posted a few videos — only to realize hours had gone by. What?? If only I’d spent that time writing. Or reading a book. Or exercising. Or doing literally anything else. I deleted my TikTok account the next day.

Deleting my account hasn’t stopped me from watching TikTok compilation videos on YouTube, of course. They are remarkably de-stressing in small doses. But there’s a big difference between spending two hours a week watching TikTok videos and two hours a day, which is what happens to normal humans when we’re given unfettered access to any social media platform.

All that time I have from not using social media (and now not going grocery shopping, not going to the library, not going to bars or concerts, and not going to the gym) has been spent…

1. Reading (I’ve already read 14 books this year, dawg)
2. Writing (3 articles a week, plus a short book for Kindle)
3. Getting therapy
4. Playing video games (Said therapist told me I need a hobby)
5. Exercising
6. Watching documentaries
7. Drawing & painting

Even with all of that, I still have plenty of time for laying around uselessly, cooking many more quesadillas than one person could ever eat, online shopping, and anything else that may come up in my day. It’s truly astonishing how much time you have in your day once you quit social media.

It raises self-esteem

As a content creator, I have to be careful not to look too closely at the platforms of other content creators lest I begin to compare my journey to theirs. There is no comparison, of course, I’m fucking awesome — but sometimes I forget that and start beating myself up.

People who aren’t content creators also have to be careful about this. Carefully curated Instagram photos of coworkers, old high school classmates, and other people we know can trigger us to compare ourselves to them.

And the more time you spend exposed to these triggers, the more time you have to spend combatting them with esteem-raising inspirational quotes.

“It’s all about the journey, not the outcome.”

— Carl Lewis

Having no social media means I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others way less. That’s not to say I never do, of course, but it happens far less often when Instagram and Facebook aren’t triggering that reaction in me every single day.

It is less expensive

Being out of touch is such a blessing. You can’t be tempted to purchase the latest shoes, kitchen gadgetry, interior decorations, smartphones, or cars if you are never exposed to them in the first place.

It improves the quality of your relationships

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — quitting social media has the paradoxical effect of making your relationships better. The people with whom you only ever enjoyed superficial relationships fall away, and the people who really matter to you take front and center.

One thing I have learned in my second year without social media is that sometimes, it’s not the other people who fall away, it’s you. There are people I interacted with regularly on social media that I completely forgot existed after deleting the platform. I feel bad about falling out of their life, but not that bad, because they deserve to spend time with people who are enthusiastic about them, not merely lukewarm.

Obviously, social media isn’t responsible for all your problems. Strictly speaking, it isn’t responsible for any of them. A perfect person would be able to use any social media they wanted, whenever they wanted, without suffering one bit of damaged self-esteem or negativity.

But a perfect person would also be able to use heroin whenever they wanted without getting addicted, so maybe “perfect people” aren’t who we should be comparing ourselves to.

And the truth is that for us imperfect people, social media does act as a drug: It creates addictive emotional feedback loops that keep us hooked and disguise our real problems.

Something I’ve noticed in the two years I’ve had no social media is that when I’m upset about something, I’m forced to confront my feelings. There’s no online platform I can use to find a supportive echo chamber or to distract myself. That feels negative (it sure feels nice to get 10 likes on a post when you’re upset), but in the long run, it’s much better to learn how to lean on yourself for assurance rather than having to run to anonymous countless online others.

In this way, quitting social media has revealed to me some underlying emotional problems I have that I don’t think I would have been able to identify if social media still had a significant presence in my life.

If you decide to quit social media, here’s what it will feel like:

1. The first 45 days will suck as you will have to spend significant amounts of your time and energy resisting the urge to use social media. You will also have a shitload of newfound time on your hands. You will be unused to having so much time, so you probably won’t use it very productively, leaving you simultaneously feeling bored and guilty. You’ll wonder whether this whole “quitting social media” thing is really worth all this.
2. After 45 days, you’ll get used to it. You’ll start filling that time with productive activity and meaningful hobbies. You’ll catch up on all that paperwork, start studying more, and finally spend time painting or playing the guitar again. You’ll have time to visit the gym. In fact, you’ll be stunned by how much time you have and how much you get done. You may even want to Instagram about it until you realize quitting Instagram is what made this possible.
3. After a few months, you’ll forget social media exists — until a friend of yours stops talking mid-sentence to pull out their phone and swipe down Instagram. They will not even be aware they’re doing this, so powerful is their compulsion. If you had any doubt that quitting social media was the right thing to do, it will be wiped away at that moment.
4. After two years, someone will tell you Twitter banned the Twitter account of the President. You will not care because you realized years ago that Twitter is pointless anyway.

All in all, I highly recommend it.

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